The Secret Ingredient is Crime

I have set this Blog up to keep in contact with my dear friend Johannes de Silentio; he is possibly the coolest person I've ever met and I never want to lose contact with him. Correction: He IS the coolest person I have ever met.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Is it wrong to laugh? I think not.

I haven't had much to say as of late and I'm feeling guilty for neglecting this space. So in order to appease the masses, I will relate what has been the funniest conversation I've had this week.

On Tuesday I went to a show here in town and I got to groupie it up with Juan Mcclean. We were discussing his thoughts on the tours sponsor (Trojan) and how there were different girls each night at the various venues. I guess these girls keep trying to give Juan condoms (even though he's on the van that brings the girls the condoms for distribution). After a while he has become bored of saying no, no thanks, so he's tried a different approach. Now when the girls approach him he says, 'no thanks I don't believe in condoms'...to which the girls inevitably reply 'What do you mean?' and he replies, 'Well, I don't think you can get AIDS twice, can you?'...

:)

Monday, July 17, 2006

Camping in August

I'm really excited at the possibility of an August camping trip. I've been told that my role as 'wood chopper' might be threatened by a dude from Spain, but I'm Canadian and I'll wield the axe to protect my sacred camping skill. With Firestarter L and Tentmasters K & D, this will be trip not to forget. Can't wait.

In anticipation of camping I started thinking of things we will need for the weekend. Clearly beer, food, tents, sleeping bags, fire, etc are in order. I also want to keep attempting to recoup my tax increase through excess spending. As such I've decided that with a possible European beach trip in the near future and a Saskatchewan Lake most eminant, I need a new swimsuit...but I can't decide which style...

PS, I was thinking it'd be fun if K & D got the complimenting suits as well...

Friday, July 14, 2006

And they call me Animal

I suppose I should preface this post with the fact that I am not right wing (Shock! I know). Therefore I will admit that there is more than likely bias that will slip through this post. This post is aimed at two right wing people who I am not found of.

The first is Stephen Harper, my Prime Minister. I did not vote for him, but the majority of Canadians did, and therefore, he decides whats best for me and my fellow countrymen. This affects not only us as Canadians, but all those people who have interactions with Canada...which is like, 6 billion people or so.

Anyways, ol' Stephie promised the people that he would make things better for us, and stop the over-taxation. He promised less corruption, blah blah blah. And on July 1 he delivered his taxation promise. He cut the GST by 1%.

However, on July 1, Stephie also RAISED my income tax. I've been told, oh, it's no big deal, it's only like $4.47 a paycheque. That my friends, amounts to over $107 over the course of a year. Or, to put it in more realistic terms, I've lost out on this (price $79.99 + tax = $90.38):




So not only am I paying $107 more for taxes, but I am to be consoled in that I have had my GST cut. Well, if we do some basic matH - not maths because I'm not British -- then we see I would have to spend over $447 dollars a paycheque on taxable goods (not rent, not food, not loans, not credit card repayments!) to recoupe my loss of $4.47.

Now I don't have $447 dollars a paycheque to spend on things. However, I see this as a bit of a challenge, and am willing to do my part. I will go shopping this weekend and I will see if I can regain some of that money I have had taken away from me...

Rant Number Two:

This rant is about a person stateside. And no, I'm not talking about their leader, their vice-leader or anyone like that...I'm ranting about a certain Ann Coulter, who has become an expert on being right-wing. She's like a female Gormley, except, well, worse. Her high education levels, female prowess and shocking subject matters allow her to speak on various television programs and be heard by the entirity of the USA.

What I am taking offense to today is not the content of her rants, but rather, the fact that she gets these rants published. Why am I upset? Because they are incoherent and lack any sort of focus. I direct the reader to the following article, and ask you, the loyal reader, what the point of the article is. When you have finished the article, perhaps you can comment.

Huh?

Thus far, I feel the article may be about one of the following subjects:

The Left are crazy?
The Left support terrorists?
Someone is treasonous?
Ann favours the death penalty?
Remember: Bill Clinton had sex with an intern ten years ago?
The Right like american flags?

I look forward to your comments. I also would like to be informed of how I too may make millions of dollars writing non-sensical articles for publication. I hope to use my expensive education to use such words as 'diss' to describe situations for the mass media. I hope to influence people with my opinions using my unique writing flair that is meant only to confuse and incite the public.

To you Ms. Coulture, I ask...why spend money on an education if you don't have the decency to use it? And no, this is not an attack on whatever positions you hold...

Thank you.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

This doesn't make sense to me

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!"

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

FREE SLURPEE DAY

Today is free slurpee day at 7-11! Yummy!

I've got my free 7.11 ounce slurpee, but I had to ask if they were part of the promo...at which point they put out their promo cups...so go get your free slurpee!

I want one

Monday, July 10, 2006

Infiltration

The new blog results are up and look! I've got a grasp on South America now! Go Chille! Yay! Added to the mid-to-far North of Canada, India, Japan and that whole european thing I've got going, I'm conquering the world with one-hit bloggers...

Unfortunately for those who actually do stumble across the site, there's not much to it...except for AWESOMENESS in the package of lyla...

that is all.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

slowly but surely

I spent exactly one hour and five minutes sunning myself in the park. I am now nicely red all over my body. It's awesome. I should be fine tomo but today I have a red glow.

I spent exactly three hours at belly dance. This was a bit too much belly dance for a day. However while at belly dance I started talking to this chick. We continued talking and went downtown for starbucks. Then we walked along the river and hung out and compared stories on how we found it hard to meet people in the city. It's so nice to know that just a few days after making the decision to leave I meet someone who could be totally fun to hang out with...This last sentance sounds quite bitchy to my fantastic friends I do have in Saskatoon...for that I apologize. It's not meant to sound that way at all. I do tend to get excited when I start making a friend, because, well, I'm not that great at it! So forgive my inappropriate sentance structures...

That is all. I'm tired.

Oh...Yay for both germany and italy, whom I was cheering for in each of their games...though I really couldn't have cared less...

The program I am wastching just proclaimed 'Jim look behind this bush. There's a turd made of solid gold'....

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Massive Attack

Cue 9 AM.

Out of the doors of City Hall we run...towards the sidewalk sale on second.

Past the shoes we go, the wafting smoke from the outdoor bbq beckoning us, yet we resist. Tonic does not excite us in the least and we cross over to the other side and join the mob. Pants flail and capri's are tossed aside. Skirts and tops and jackets are pulled from the tables and the women run inside to try on the wares. The crash and rude of the bunch try on the wares in as discreet a manner possible, cogniscent that skirts are far better for this than shorts.

45 minutes of standing in queue and lo and behold, I have done it. I have embraced Saskatoon's only fashion statement.

I now own a pair of Lulu Lemon Pants, and for only $40.

Lock your women in the house, they may never return. The end of the world is near...Lulu on sale, no! It couldn't be true.

It is...it is.

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