What is this anxiety I feel?

For a very long time now (at least 4 years) I have had credit card debt. Before that time, I used to be quite good at paying my credit cardS off on time, or at least within a month or two. However, living in the fast lane with concert tickets to purchase and trips to england/canada to pay for, I soon found myself in quite a lot of debt to Uncle Mastercard, Aunt Visa and Cousin AmEx.

And during this time I have always prolonged the whole 'saving for a future' bit, as I had to pay off these high rate cards. And thus, my goals remained unchallenged...get out of debt first, then save.

Well for the past year I have been somewhat diligent about paying off these cards. This has been on top of starting up at two new apartments, moving overseas, etc. However, this past week, I finally did it. I paid off my remaining balances, and voila...I am credit card debt free. And no, I have not cancelled my cards yet. They have been a life source to me in the past and I'm sure that they will play important roles in the future.

However now that they are paid off I'm in a bit of a panic. M does not understand this panic. He thinks I should be happy, but I can' t be...I'm anxious about how much I should be saving now and even more so, I'm terrified of using my cards again, even for things I know I can pay off within the next month. I want to buy a dresser for my clothes at the Ikea sale (which at this moment involves using a card till I get paid in a week) but should I? Or should I save that money? I want to book a holiday for march but can I? or should I not...

Oh the trivial matters in life -- don't worry dear reader, I'm completely still in masses of student debt. I'm not rolling in cash, I just don't have a minimum monthly payment to make next month, and I don't know how to handle that. Oh well.

So I begin the new year a bit more anxious than before...anyone have similar unexplained anxieties?