When blood coagulates its time to operate

It seems its the week of weeks for surgery. Last Friday my dad went in, yesterday my highschool teacher's wife went in and today, so did I.

My lobotomy was scheduled for 11 AM. I arrived early, fresh faced and ready to face the scalpel. My head was no longer going to cause problems, no longer going to swell and then ooze out over a period of weeks. I was ready.

Ushered inside, I sat down and consulted with the Doctor over the procedure...Local anaethestic, don't get the wound wet for 48 hours (EWWW!!!) and take off your top...ok they never said it and I didn't do it. Some nurse was watching the procedure, picking up pointers for the next lobotomy.

I laid down on the bed, face down into the little air hole they have. Jabbed with needles the sweet sweet goodness of numbness dripped into my head. Then he started to cut...deep incisions..ok, not at all..I really can't comment on this because I felt pretty much nothing...and then...

'OH BUGGER' decreed the Doctor, who stood staring at the wound. I asked 'What's up Doc?' and he said, 'it's deeper than I thought, I'm having problems getting to it'.

So he poked and pulled and prodded at my head, trying to make it work. You could sense his anger and the tension in the room started to grow. Again he poked, again he prodded. He jabbed and tugged yet he couldn't make the little cyst move. Excusing his incompetence he said that it was far to early to remove the item, seeing as it had only swelled a month back....clearly I'd need to wait a year for a successful remove...it was not his fault.

So he sutured me up x2 and the nurse cleaned my bleeding head. I walked out, still in need of surgery and not being able to shower for 48 hours....GOD LOVE THE NHS!!!