Look at Me! I'm Blogging!

So the empty meaningless void that was your life without my blog has now ended. I tried desperately to go a month without a blog but was compelled to update my avid fans with the enthralling details of my ever so exciting adventures and escapades.

I could recount the details that would have found me in Burmuda, but I will refrain. For the money I turned down, the sunny beaches and job title could not have satiated my appetite for living in downtrodden areas with miserable weather and scraping by on a meager salary.

I could go into an epic recounting of the Outlook Olympics, describing in detail the events, the drama, the medals and even the drunken antics, but I will not. Those are tales best left for sharing around a fire, sipping sherry on a cold winter day.

Or I could recount how I find myself back in Saskatoon in my very own apartment, complete with fridge, stove, sink and jacuzzi tub, but I will not brag about my status and means. I shan't describe my quaint surroundings with my coffee shop, local grocer or snow covered streets to you for fear that you may not be able to mask the jealousies you hold of me. Its called idolspize and you know you do.

I suppose I might mention how my lover, my toy boy, my junior somethin somethin, hopped on a plane to visit me. I'm providing food, shelter, bevvies and a slew of activities to keep him busy whilst I toil, so that I can take advantage of his advantages at my will. He's totally in my command, hanging out with my friends when I tell him too and stayin locked up during the day.

Finally I guess I might talk about the soiree I'm hosting this Friday. The who's who of Saskatoon and England will be there, of course, but will you? Probably not because you aren't important enough to even make it on the long list, let alone the very short list -- that's right people. The short list is ten people long. Diddy couldn't even bring his entourage to my party, that's how short the list it. So spare me your begging and just accept that this is one party you won't be attending.

However I will not talk about any of those topics. For if I were you would just continue in your downward spiral of idolspizing. I will give you though, one tidbit of information, that could make you think, just once, that you were in my shoes. I had a pizza pop for lunch today, Pillsbury Three Cheese. Now rush out and buy a box and just imagine you are me, and you will find true happiness, if only for a moment.

Lyla

As a quick aside -- I don't know how I feel knowing that the spellchecker on blogger.com knows the correct spelling for Pillsbury but suggests I change blogging to flogging and has no suggestions for the word 'blog'. It also hasn't caught on to the idolspize...I wonder how it would do with clitsy.